Dr Fixit (331 - 340)

Mushrooms On A Log

331

'to retrain those who'd wasted their time 

and parents' food.' But someone was on a fine line.

He was a customer to a welder.

He praised every pupil who did weather 

the storm and moved to a new class.

Those who failed shouldn't be seen as outcasts.

'They're still young and need ample time 

to grow. I tell you they would outshine 

the best when they realize their potential.'

'You do it now, not during my funeral.


332

'That's what I tell my kids,' said the welder.

The artisans and customers reeled with laughter.

The arguments went back and forth.

The soundbox dropped the hits and like frogs 

on Ma Moonit"s verandah, we leaped around.

During the holidays, we lingered in our compounds -

eating, playing and sleeping while our limbs

were growing. We didn't visit the streams

that much as it was the peak of the rains.

We were around the fire munching some grains.


333

And the storytelling shifted from the moonlight 

to the fireplace. 'A man with great might,'

Moonit had started the tale after 

the preamble, 'whose head was taller

than the tallest roof of any bungalow 

in a human town was making the ballyhoo 

of how he'd beaten everyone and had

no rival again. Like a fellow raving mad,

he went around insulting everyone.

"Who can beat me, let him walk or run


334

"'and meet me at any spot of his choosing.

I'd beaten everyone and everything:

all the formidable men and beasts when 

they hear of my approaching steps, into their dens

retrace their feet. I am now the champion 

undisputed globally. Even the brave lion 

dreads my name." He was walking around 

the streets and lanes of his hometown 

bragging about his prowess when Saucy Pauper,

a chronic drunk, who was taking a saunter


335

'back home from his favourite bar,

met him along the way and threw a jab

at the mighty man with his tongue:

"Great Champ," he said, "I know you're wrong 

to go on and on like a monotonous song

that no  sinews anywhere are that strong 

like yours. I tell you, the things that 

would squarely meet you tit for tat

and eventually beat you are quite small."

The statement the champion did appall.


336

'He hooked his finger under the chin 

of Saucy Pauper and like a crane pulled him

to face him, eyeball to eyeball.

"There's nothing or anyone, big or small,

that can beat me," the giant spat

his words and bits of spittle that 

darted on the terrified face

of the drunk. "Direct me to the place 

they hide and I'd go fetch and give them

the beating of their lives!" "Meet them,"


337

'Saucy Pauper, choking, replied, "at the fringes

of our town." Filled with violent trembles

of rage, the mighty man threw down

the drunk and stamped his feet out of town,

crying, "If I go and don't see them,

I'd sure come back for you. Lice-laden

dirty pauper!" And he stamped his feet

which music was like the military beat

of their boots during a parade.

From his mood, the challengers were in for a raid.

Whosoever saw him knew he was irate.


338

'Everyone curious followed stealthily behind.

But the superman being utterly blind

with rage didn't notice any of the onlookers.

He was watching for who'd gone bonkers 

and would dare to challenge him, if true 

was the statement by Saucy Pauper. "They'd rue,"

Bragado said loudly and walked on,

"all of their nincompoop action. The don

of all-round fight I am, a global icon

feared by the strongest human, elephant and lion!"'


339

I had spontaneously squeezed my face,

raised my arms up and bulged my muscles. The place

rocked with laughter. Moonit waved us

to silence again. She resumed her tale: 'So furious 

was Bragado that whatever did cross

his path that day was made to nurse

an injury. The first was the log

from the branch of a tree. When it dropped 

though would've missed Bragado by some metres,

he jumped into the bush, grabbed and splintered


340

'by multiple bits when he smashed it on

a tree trunk. The superman had sworn

quite loud when he realized it was

a dead log. He left the spot with a final curse.

The sticks snapped under his feet

and the creepers tore into bits

as they'd strayed onto the path deep in

the wood as he searched hard for what the urchin 

told him would dare confront and beat him -

from where or what did they get their vim?

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